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ivyheretochill

ivyheretochill

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June 20, 2023, Tuesday

#life105
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This post is translated from Chinese into English through AI.View Original
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On June 20, 2023, the author finished reading a book by Li Guofei during a turbulent plane ride and cried for a couple of hours. They gained a trembling understanding of "putting their heart into it". They realized that in order to take action, one must let go of the mental restraints. They also discovered that even if they don't let go, as long as they experience suffering, it can still contribute to wisdom. The author believes that one's willpower determines their life. They believe that their ideal life can become a reality and that being human is about possibilities, not limitations. They reflect on their fear of traveling and not pursuing their desires due to a lack of confidence. They express a desire to live a life free from fear. Recently, they have been interviewing others about the main storyline of their lives, not seeking answers but wanting to inject specific things into their own life. They express a desire to pursue immortality through writing impactful stories like Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" and leaving a lasting impression on others. They have experienced a journey of self-discovery and embracing emotions, realizing their extreme sensitivity and ability to be moved by simple things. They admit that they live through their dreams and feel most like themselves in a realm beyond material existence. They are drawn to mythology and ancient stories that convey a sense of power and transcendence.

June 20, 2023, Tuesday

I finished reading a book by Li Guofei during the turbulence on the plane. I intermittently cried for an hour or two, gaining a trembling understanding of "injecting the heart".

To take action, one must let go of the shackles in the mind. However, it is not enough to ask one person to let go. Even if they verbally agree, they cannot truly let go in their hearts. Later, I discovered that it is also possible to not let go. Whoever is in pain will change. "Worry is enlightenment." As long as this experience can cultivate wisdom, it is considered meaningful.

Willpower is life. Life is consistent with thoughts, and strong desires will manifest in certain phenomena. I believe that the vision of an ideal life will eventually become a reality. When we say "I'm only a human," we are referring to the possibilities of being a human, not limitations. When something or someone separates from the objective time and space and becomes the protagonist of a moving story woven in my heart, it transforms from an objective thing into a pure spiritual projection. From that moment on, it is no longer ordinary matter. It carries my imagination and emotions for an ideal life. It has departed from its original time and space and entered a new spiritual realm. In this new realm, it can change as long as I want it to. There are no restrictions or logic in the realm of the heart.

Facing my inner self and thinking carefully, why didn't I dare to travel before? Why did I delay even after making plans until my visa expired? It was because of fear. I didn't truly focus my heart on realizing my desires. It's not that I didn't want this kind of life, but deep down, I was afraid that I didn't have the ability to achieve it. If I don't face it and don't try, the possibility of failure won't collapse into reality, and I can still tell others about it. But from now on, I want to live a life free from fear.

Recently, I have been interviewing others about the main storyline of their lives, but this time, I am not asking with the mindset of finding answers or seeking a lifeline. This time, I want to inject some specific things into my own life container.

Specifically, I want to pursue immortality. It is no longer the immortality of eternal youth and flying away from the earth that I thought about when I was a child. It is not the grand immortality of changing the course of history. I want to be like J.R.R. Tolkien, writing important stories and injecting my heart into works like "The Lord of the Rings," conveying a certain energy and leaving a shocking feeling of "believing in virtues and kindness, not power" in the mundane objective world, giving people a moving experience.

For me, it took more than half a year from realizing that I lacked motivation to discovering the things I wanted to inject into my life. The prerequisite was letting go of the shackles in the mind, letting go of rational defense mechanisms, letting go of the path of safe survival, and fully embracing emotions instead of restraining them. I thoroughly experienced the naked joy and pain between people and realized that I am an extremely sensitive being. I would cry uncontrollably for the setting sun over the river, the blue sky and white clouds, a corner of a roof, a feeling, a thought, or a moment of enlightenment.

I admit that I live by dreaming. The place where I truly feel "I am me" is not in the material existence of this world. "Planting flowers on stones, hanging swords in the air, flowers and trees flourishing in three winters, snow and frost flying in nine summers." This is my nature. I am obsessed with myths and the ancient primordial energy and spirit conveyed in creation stories, always pursuing an intangible existence beyond the present time and space. This is what echoes repeatedly.

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